the winter sun shines and my heart overflows..

...all of a sudden you see the values you hold so dear in the hope of raising good people, come shining through like the winter sun.

In a simple gesture, a single moment, you witness the gentle love between brothers, and just like that, you know you're on the right track.

Last night we made pizza and snuggled down to watch 'the life of Pi'.  There was the usual niggling over who sat where, who has which cushion, enough blanket and the most leg room...he and I look at each other and we know we're both wondering the same thing...can we do nothing without this incessant banter?? 

Then suddenly we were all transfixed on the movie and loving every minute.  By the end, we were so captivated as the story was revealed, and the little guy had tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to make sense of the sadness of it all.

His brothers looked at him and felt his hurt.  Quietly and without a word spoken, the middle guy reached for a tissue and handed it to his little brother..

And my heart filled to overflowing.

warming..

A few random things...

We took that mini holiday and went to Fiji for my youngest brothers wedding. It was magical.  It was such a happy day, the groom and his beautiful bride, my big boy as ring barer, an island resort, lots and lots of dancing, sunshiny warmth, spending time with all of my brothers, it was wonderful.  Of course we didn't escape all of the moods and madness the entire time, but it was more manageable somehow.  Thank you for your very kind and encouraging comments on my last post..

I've pulled out my dusty wool stash and have been making a few wintery warm things at my leisure (my leisure!? what is that?) popping some in the shop, and my boys have put in orders, this always warms my heart..

One of my brothers has bought a house and moved his soon-to-be-family-of-three right down here in our town, the best!

I am getting super speedy at my job in our little business and just learned a process I've not made time to learn since we started, and that sure feels good..

Baby girl has found her voice and listening to her happy natter is heavenly..

We've accepted we're not going to have a winter kitchen garden this year, there just isn't the time, sad but true. We will, however, make time on a weekend to go to local farmers markets to pick up the good stuff someone else has managed to grow..

Our big boy got into the high school program he so wanted..we are relieved and proud beyond words. He's had a really rough couple of years, it's nice for him to have a win finally, phew! We were fascinated by his answer to one of the interview questions..'who are 3 people you'd like to have at a dinner party?' his answer... Joseph Stalin, Leonardo Da Vinci and Adam Sandler - imagine!

Winter sure is cold but winter dinners are the best! One pot wonders filled to the brim with vegie goodness that all of our little people love..very happy about that!

There is nothing warmer than wool.  A fact I am reminded of every year.  I start off thinking I'll just layer up with pretty prints and a frill here and there, but nothing warms like a woollen nana spencer.  So, on top of the list for my next visit to the shops is nana spencers..and maybe another pair of patterned tights to keep things pretty..

School holidays are almost upon us and I am determined to make the most of them.  A happy balance of slow moving jammie mornings and a few adventures too..

knots..

sometimes my tummy and my chest are so caught up in knots with all that is going on. This family we are raising sometimes feels like a tornado spinning around me. The chaos whirling further and further beyond my grasp.  I have to stop and remind myself to breathe, to be positive and to keep things in perspective.  

There is the parenting of a pre teen.  This has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world, and then we still have the actual teen years ahead of us.  They say when your babies are just babies, that it only gets harder, and its true, it does.  Every single day is a challenge.  It can be mental and emotional torture at times.  I'm forever analysing my parenting ability, am I too hard, too soft, are my values all wrong, should I just let up a little, but then if I do, what kind of people will we be raising?  Endless days of bickering, the nastiness, the condescending tone, the intolerance of just about anyone or anything. As parents, we're forever the bad guy, both of us. The day ends and I wonder if we'll all just wake up and it'll be like a fog has lifted, and suddenly he'll be that beautiful, thoughtful, considerate boy he once was.  Or have we completely lost control and is it just going to get worse..

There is the six year old of whose tantrums and temper I have made mention of in many a blog post over the last 4 years.  Shouldn't they be over by now?  We've never given into him when he's tantrumed, not ever.  There has always been consequences for him, but he still does it.  His temper flys out of control just so suddenly and there is often no cooling it down until it's run it's course.  Then he emerges, sorry, cuddly and back to his sweet adoring loving self.  It's all over much more quickly now, but you still never know when it's going to happen and there's a constant tightness in my chest, that walking on egg shells feeling because its so unpredictable.

There is the happy go lucky grade 3 boy whose carefree world is slowly becoming bogged down with commitments and expectations.  Grade 3 is such a big change.  Middle school equals higher standards, harder work, more homework, and little time for that happy go lucky attitude.  He doesn't like it much.  His weekends can't come around soon enough.

There is the new baby.  Thats the easy bit.  She's amazing, content, placid and she still sleeps a lot!  She just fits in.  I tend to her amidst all the crazy and she's happy. 

There is running a business, which my husband pretty much does single handed at this point.  I'm just his faithful assistant.  I step in and do my part as required, and then it's back to being mother, housekeeper, homemaker. There just isn't the brain power to be anymore than that right now.

We have an exciting, and very happy celebration coming up and we can't wait.  A mini holiday to somewhere warm and gorgeous to hang out with my brothers and their girls, and we're counting the sleeps.  I'm hoping that having my boys spend some time with their uncles will help, I'm hoping my man and I might sneak out on a date and I'm hoping it's just the trick to loosen all these knots, if only for a little while.. 

this moment..

It's difficult to imagine beyond the now, this moment, day to day.

I was so sure that our little guy was the last, our family was complete and I soaked him in, every little bit.

Now, six years on, we have been blessed with this brand new babe, this unexpected, exquisite little gift, and I still can't quite believe we have her.

Seeing our little guy off to begin school last year, I went through a kind of grieving process.  My last baby a big school kid already.  It took me a long while to come to terms with that.  Then suddenly life looked easier.  We'd moved beyond the baby/toddler years, no more sleeps to factor into a day, we could leave the house without having to pack a thing.  They all wake and make their own breaky in the morning and get themselves dressed for school.  Easy.

Now, we're back.  Back to the packing a bag before leaving the house, back to sleep times and having to be super organised.  Back to timing the feed before jumping in the car..the "quick, quick, lets go!!" as soon as baby is fed.

All of that is happening again, and it's surreal.  But she fits right in, she was meant to be here.

I look at her and I can only see this moment.  I still can't picture the crawling baby, the toddler, the kinder girl and beyond.

I can't imagine her growing up to develop into her own little self.  Argh, the tantrums, or heaven forbid, say the 'H' word.  But I know she will, and my heart will hurt.  My own mum says that when she does, I'll just turn away and I'll laugh to myself when I hear it, and I'll remember this moment..

This moment, when we'd look into each others eyes equally smitten.  I'll remember how I'd bury myself into her softness and breathe in her sweetness..

This heavenly moment..x

my creative space..

two of my guys and I headed off to the carboot sale this morning to find ourselves some treasures, and treasures we did find..

I spotted this dusty old bird cage far into the distance,  it was hanging from a trailer with a manky old fluffy parrot inside.  The cage was $5 dollars and the manky parrot complimentary.

My plan was to paint this sweet old cage white, but I've decided I like it just the way it is.  We took the parrot out and put him in a tree at the park on the walk home and gave the cage a scrub.  I pulled out the fabric stash and made a far from perfect but very pretty mama bird and now it hangs in my Olives room..love!

more creative places here..

captivated..

this post was to be about a scarf I made for a sweet litte girl 

who asked me to make her one forever ago!

finally, this week I made it, and it's lovely, I think she'll like it.

Then I asked this boy to pop it on so I could take some pictures for the blog, as you do...

and then the post came to be about him...captivated I am.

(..and a token picture of the scarf in colour)

you can visit more creative spaces here..

my creative space..

Welcoming autumn with some pretty pieces found on our walk the other day.

My guys and I left Olive at home sleeping while dad worked, and we ventured out to find treasures blown about in a recent storm.  

I was going to make a mobile with sticks and floral fabrics but this rugged branch is what happened instead.

I quite like it..

more creative spaces here... 

six weeks...

six weeks goes fast, I don't want that newborn baby time to end, and then I get all swept up in wondering what she'll be like as she grows, what colour will her eyes be, will her hair stay dark, what will her little voice sound like when she says "muma", her chunky thighs sporting frilly swimmers on the beach next summer, being able to just swing her onto my hip for school drop offs and pick up...

I need to remind myself not to wish the time away and to just be in the moment, for already she is growing up.

Life is busy, I forget so many things, and some things just have to be eliminated from the endless 'to do's' in my everyday.  Some days I can't keep up, and some days I have time to spare.  Some days I  want to go out and catch up with people, other days it's just all too much.  Working from home is wonderful but hard.  Often there is an endless parade of visitors, and I welcome an opportunity to stop for a cuppa, but it's difficult to get things done before school pick up, and sometimes I just don't want to answer the door.

It's all very up and down at the moment, as hormones take on a life of their own.  At six weeks I want everything else to just stop so that I don't miss this time..

At six weeks she's still sleeping well most of the time, and mostly she is the easiest baby ever.  Then she'll have a restless day or night and there is no choice but to stop, put everything else aside and just tend to her.

At six weeks, she is waking longer during the day and is so alert.  She takes in her surroundings, fixes her gaze upon her brothers when they 'coo' at her, and already likes to be up with us when dinner time comes around, part of the gang.

At six weeks she loves to be held, though she sleeps in her basket and settles herself too.  She is suddenly growing enough to fit into all those gorgeous 000 suits she's been gifted.  

At six weeks, she's still a poo shooter! We have to be very quick with the nappy change, she's a lethal weapon..much to the delight of three big brothers.

At six weeks I breathe in her new baby smell and she melts my heart.  She is pure delight.