Taking stock..

I do like a little TAKING STOCK post.  Time to notice, reflect and appreciate stuff.  Here's what's happening in my world this weird and wonderful May..

Making: Crochet shawls, and working on unfinished projects 

Cooking: Hearty one pot casseroles full of veg and goodness

Sipping: Wine, maybe a little too often, but enjoying it

Reading: Phosphorescence by Julia Baird

Waiting: Everyday feels a bit like waiting at the moment, I'm not sure for what, just waiting

Looking: forward to a family gathering where all of our babies can finally play and hug and have fun together.  Also, I can't wait to have all my brothers in one place and to hug them tight

Listening: to my clever boy's ISOLATION EP, loving it and moving to it regularly

Wishing: I could knit! I will persevere

Enjoying: Having my boys still at home remote learning, random chats with them and seeing them so happy and relaxed about it all.

Appreciating: Our wonderful teachers! Seriously, beyond words.  They've been nothing short of amazing.  Olive's teacher has been so reassuring, and supportive and SO much fun, he should really be on Playschool.

Eating: all the chocolate my babies bought me for Mother's Day

Liking: that my boys can see their friends again.  Kids need their mates, I'm aware of that now more than I ever was before

Loving: Autumn sunshine and the stunning pastel skies at night

Buying: Food! We are going through so much food with these boys home everyday

Managing: to allow myself time for quiet, still working on the inherent need to justify it though

Watching: Dead to Me on Netflix

Hoping: That there's a change to our 'normal' as restrictions ease. That people realise things can be done differently, slower, with more focus on the important stuff.

Wearing: My favourite PRIMOEZA hand knit and linen jumpsuit almost everyday, it's like my uniform

Noticing: I'm a better gardener than I ever thought!  I just always assumed I'd be crappy at it, but turns out I actually have a bit of a green thumb.  Who knew?!

Sorting: through toys and clothes the kids have outgrown

Getting: tips on how to darn and repair holes in favourite knits

Bookmarking: balustrade designs, ours needs replacing as our children grow taller and much bigger.

Coveting: Wendy's beautiful FLOWERFOLK dresses.  They remind me of my Mum's favourite dresses that I always hoped I'd inherit, but sadly were tossed out somewhere along the way

Feeling: grateful that my husband's work has been secure and ongoing 

Hearing: constant finger boarding tricks coming from the little guys room, a lot of online group chatter coming from the middle guy's room and sweet sounds of guitar strumming from the biggest.

Taking Stock with Pip HERE.

taking stock..

Spring is only a day away, and I'm itching to get so many things done around here.  My head is spinning with all the 'to do's' on my list, its almost becoming too overwhelming and I fear I just won't get to any of it. So its time to take stock and clear my head, thanks to Pip's trusty list..

Making : simple decorations to liven up our new but very bare deck.

Cooking : veggie soup and using the left overs for pasta sauce tomorrow.

Drinking : coffee in the morning, wine in the evening and fresh veggie juice in between.

Reading: I just finished The Girl on the Train, which I loved, now I'm needing something new.

Looking: for a copper shower rose for our homemade outdoor shower, they're way too expensive.  Who knew!?

Deciding: if some intensive private swim lessons for the primary school boys might be more beneficial than the school two week program.

Wishing: I could afford a painter to paint inside and out!

Enjoying: picking fresh herbs and greens now that we've moved the veggie garden directly outside the kitchen.

Waiting: for the slushy yard to dry up a bit.

Liking: a little bit of trash tv.

Loving: Olive's ballet classes.

Listening: to Olive talk non stop, all day long.

Considering: storage options, stashing less and packing my craft cabinet into a single box..eek!

Buying: beautiful handmade treasures.

Watching: my favs right now...The Bachelor, Life in Pieces, Have You Been Paying Attention.

Hoping: our boys room switch isn't as excruciating as I'm anticipating.

Marvelling: at the biggest boy, just everything, all of him.

Cringing: at Olive's new found love of the recorder.

Needing: to get myself to yoga once and for all..and plant life for the deck.

Smelling: open fire's and fire pits in the air.

Wearing: beautiful handmade pieces by Wendy.

Following: vicandbert and trying not to want all the things.

Noticing: the middle guy is seeming a little anxious about high school next year and leaving his friends.

Knowing: our peak season is almost upon us, and trying to brace myself with calm and order.

Thinking: I should just pick up a paint brush and start one room at a time.

Admiring: my husband and feeling blessed that we are in his capable forward planning hands.

Getting: ready to Spring clean, eliminate and simplify. We really don't have all that much, even toys are few around here (apart from lego), but a tidy up and clean out is always nice.

Coveting: too many beautiful instagram feeds.

Disliking: that we have been forced to introduce our children to devices through school education programs and that my children believe they are the only ones not allowed to have a billion apps and hours of itime outside of school.

Opening: the doors and windows on those sunshiny days we've been having.

Feeling: anxious that Olive still isn't grasping toilet training, and isn't terribly willing to try.

Hearing: the constant nattering of a happy toddler at play.

Mixing: spinach, carrot, apple and orange into the kids morning berry juice, and they're loving it!

Slicing: warm out of the oven chocolate cake for school lunches.

Forgetting: to log into our school parent portals, constantly, and staying up to date.

Embracing: the possibilities of the new season.


Aahh, a little taking stock really does help.

ps: apologies for the random layout of this post, blogger is being a bit strange tonight??

winter..

Just like that, we're more than half way through winter!

I've been trying super hard to change my tune this year, to embrace this bitterly cold season.  To be honest, it's the clothing that makes it easier for me to bare.  I love winter fashion, mixing up my layers, a snugly scarf, finding the perfect pair of Uggs to wear both at home and out in public,  if there is such a thing?  Either way, warm feet!

I've been making warm woollen gifts and reading in bed at night time.  Our Friday night, movie night, has become somewhat of a ritual to end our week and kick off our weekends.  We're spending time around the fire pit when we can, drinking soup or hot chocolate and toasting marshmallows. 

I'm putting fresh flowers or dried branches on our dining table, turning on the fairy lights when its dull and rainy outside. It all helps. It's the simple things we do to make the everyday just that little bit more special.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very pleased that springtime is just around the corner, and I can't wait for our slushy yard to dry out a bit.  To be able to spend more time outside and see our garden come back to life.  To not have a permanent rack of washing drying in our living room.  Oh, Spring will be wonderful! 

Until then, we're keeping warm, getting out when the sun makes a rare appearance and enjoying a little bit of forced downtime.

chance encounters..

As the end of another year draws near, I can't help but look back and reflect on the last 12 months and where we are headed in the year to come.

It's been year of battles, and not many won is how it feels.  A big year of learning, of frustrations and a lot of 'one step forward two steps back'.  It also feels like the challenges will serve their purpose, like changes are around the corner, but just what changes I'm not too sure.

I look back and it seems I've been completely caught up in us, our work, the day to day, and now all of a sudden its christmas time, the end of the school year and summer holidays. 

In a blink! Another year down in the whirlwind of life.  

Last night I felt so overcome by negativity and angst. Unsettled by things that are out of my direct control, like I'd been dumped by an ocean wave and wrung out. Early to bed followed by the first uninterrupted night of sleep in forever, and things felt a bit better. Isn't it amazing how much better we cope with a decent night of sleep!

This morning I sent my excited boys off to school for the last time this year.  I cleaned and tidied, then put Olive and my nephew into the twin stroller for a walk.  As soon as we left I could feel positive energy beginning to flow.  Taking my time time to walk and look around, watching the sea mist blow through the air.  Stopping to talk to people, popping my head into the dry cleaners to share a friendly tip we'd been talking about the last time I was there. We stopped to say hello to Santa selling the Big Issue, who then reached into his sack to pull out a present each for my two happy toddlers. 

We ran some errands, stopped off to buy our Big Issue Santa a morning tea treat and headed home. I walked, apologising to people we passed for our oversized stroller taking up the footpath, some would smile and say hello, others didn't.  A little further on we came to a lady who stopped, made a big arm gesture to allow us to go first and said, smiling "make way for these children, our grand future".  I smiled and thanked her, we stopped and chatted about this time of year, about children, about all the unrest in the world and even about God (!?).  She did most of the talking, but it was lovely to listen to her and to hear her thoughts, albeit a little 'out there'.  

It was an encounter I felt I needed to have today.  Sometimes people are sent to cross our paths for a reason.  We introduced one another as we were saying goodbye, and as I turned to leave she said "I wish for you all that is in my heart..there is a lot in there, and it is all good."

A sudden chance encounter, and I feel just a little bit lighter, a little bit less wrung out.

taking stock..

when in a blogging funk, take stock with Pip's list..

Making: body exfoliating cloths from raw linen
Cooking: chow mein
Drinking: a crisp white wine on those warm evenings we had recently, ahh felt like summer 
Reading: To Kill A Mockingbird for the first time since year 8 (albeit very slowly)
Wanting: a holiday
Looking: for the perfect pair of bathers, I don't know if there is such a thing (urgh!)
Playing: hookey on the back deck
Deciding: what to do for the big boys 14th birthday 
Wishing: we could afford both money and time to make some home improvements
Enjoying: warmth, finally after a very long winter
Waiting: for November when my mum and dad move to town, permanently!
Liking: hanging the washing outside and it drying the very same day
Wondering: how the heck I'm going to make our office (in the living area) look good with a second work station
Loving: beach swims after school
Pondering: 3 year old kinder, to go or not to go?
Considering: a season pass to Adventure Park for xmas, we've been once and its a 5min drive away
Buying: op shopped bits and pieces for the kids school concert costumes
Watching: Frozen..still 
Hoping: I can keep the rose clipping from mum and dad's very first home alive at my house
Marvelling: at the depth and content of Olive's imaginative play, she blows my mind
Cringing: at the awful things people say 
Needing: a haircut
Questioning: weather its time for a professional colour to beat those greys, and time to stop doing it myself
Smelling: the ocean air and spring blossoms and mozzie spray
Wearing: skirts and open shoes 
Following: the Humans of New York refugee series, the lives people live is unfathomable
Noticing: the neighbours porch looks into our living room since we had to cut the fruit trees back
Knowing: we need a higher fence
Thinking: I might go and see the new Toni Collette, Drew Barrymore movie..all on my own, its been years
Admiring: my hardworking, patient man 
Sorting: through all the stuff! 
Getting: rid of most of it!
Bookmarking: blogs, but never finding the time to go back to read them
Coveting: beautiful handmade homewares for those home improvements we can't yet afford
Disliking: the ugly new houses replacing beautiful old ones in our town
Opening: happy mail 
Giggling: at Olive complimenting my singing in the car
Feeling: blessed to live where we live, especially this time of year
Snacking: too much
Helping: a two year old learn to share
Hearing: too many sad news stories 

on getting sleep..our co-sleeping revelation!

After four children we've finally figured it out!  The whole sleep thing.  Well, we've figured it out for now.

Admittedly, all four of our kids have been very different to manage when it came to sleep time. We've never really had a consistent routine that has worked on going.  We would do whatever it took to get sleep, and then we'd change it up pretty much however was dictated by each child.

Apart from when they were newborn, the boys never really wanted to be in our bed.  They'd wriggle and squirm and really just wanted their own space..but with us in it, a bit of a dilemma which ultimately left us all very much sleep deprived for a very long time.

We did control crying with the first two.  It was very challenging with number one.  Long, long nights, but we felt it worked for us at the time.  It gave us a sense of control and some structure. With number two it worked a treat, and only took us a week to have him happily settling in his own bed and for the most part, sleeping through.  Number three was different altogether.  Nothing ever, EVER worked with him.  He was years of night terrors, and middle of the night tantrums.  Nothing would work twice.  When something went well one night, it wouldn't the next. With this one, it was just a matter of waiting it out and managing it one night at a time..for 6 years.

For some reason, control crying was never an option for Olive.  I just couldn't bare to hear her cry when all she wanted was me.  To nuzzle into my nook and be close as can be.  I look back and I don't know how I did it with the first two.  

She started off the best sleeper of all, a dream newborn giving me 5 hours sleep and sometimes sleeping through the night.  Which at the time was a godsend and just what we needed having just started our business.  Of course all good things come to an end and by 7 months she was unsettled and just had to be on me.  I didn't care.  I loved having her there and so did Nick, feeling her close and hearing her soft breath beside us.  If this meant we could catch snippets of sleep here and there, then that's what we did.

And then we didn't.

Gradually, over the next 18months, there was very little sleep being had by Nick and I.  The only one thriving from this co-sleeping situation was the baby, and something had to give.

I wanted her here with me if here is where she needs to be, but in reality it just wasn't working.  We could not go on like this.   I kept thinking, if only I could rig up a bed beside us somehow? I considered moving her cot into our room, but the thing was, she'd happily go down at bedtime in her own room, so I didn't want to change that.  Inevitably she always ended up in our bed with all the pinching and the squirming and the sudden kicking of Nick in unfortunate places..

Then one day I saw a cot for free on our local 'Buy, Sell, Swap' page.  All the lights and bells went off in my mind.  I'd found the answer!

We were lucky, the cot was in perfect condition, but with a thorough clean to satisfy any germ-o-phobia it was ready to set up.  Right. Next. To. Our. Bed.

I left a side off so that I have the cot pushed up next to the mattress.  I can easily reach across and give her a re-assuring pat, and she can see me right there beside her.

The first night wasn't easy.  She was there beside me, in the cot, begging to be kissed and hugged and held.  Although it was hard, I kept lying her back down, reassuring her it was ok.  Eventually, she grabbed hold of my arm and held it sooo tight.  Then she slept.  

The next night she slept through in her own room!  All night.

The third night she woke and came into our room, lying there in the cot, peaking up every now and then to check we were there and sometimes to hold my hand.

Since then, I've lost count on how many nights she has slept in her own room all night.  She still wakes and calls out to me but often just self settles and goes back to sleep.  On the nights she does come in, she is happy to just be there, near us.

Who knew!?  (Well, apparently the Europeans knew, clever things)

After all these years, this was all we needed to do.  Well, maybe.  Who's to say it would have worked with the others? But it's working (for) now and that is all I need to know.

sunset..

We took a stroll after dinner last night, down to the beach to watch the sunset.  I wanted to acknowledge my cousins birthday, he passed away suddenly last year and he loved a sunset.  He would have been forty this day.

After close to perfect weather, the clouds had moved in and the wind was blowing a gale.  We were almost not going to bother.

But then we did.

And it was magical.

Of course, a nudie swim in the rock pools was inevitable.

On the way home, my little guy said it was the best night ever and he was going to make sure he did this with his kids when he was a dad.

We decided it was to be a birthday tradition.

*pictures by Nick, I told him not to worry about bringing the camera, but I'm glad he did x

these january days..

These January days are slowly but surely passing by.  There's no routine, the days are mostly our own to do whatever we please.  Though we're back at work, we're fitting in beach visits, bike rides and dirt jumps, dvd's and crochet.

We're not making plans, or rushing about.  Somedays, beds aren't made just incase we want to climb back in for a midday rest. We're making imovies and paper puppets, we're playing minecraft and building lego. We're eating extra special treats gifted by a lovely friend, and lots of fresh homegrown summer fruits, and only every now and then, we're checking off the list to get school ready.

These January days are about the sweetest days of the year I'd say.

easing in..

We're taking our time and easing ourselves into this new year.  Our little town is swelling with visitors, and I just love the summertime holiday atmosphere around the place.  We ride our bikes here, there and everywhere to avoid the traffic congestion and its become one of my most favourite things to do. Mostly, I love that we do it together.  It's become quality family time, we're getting to know one another all over again, sharing stories, goals for the year and lots of laughs.

This week, we're officially back at work, though the kids are still on holidays so making the most of any spare time is a must.  Beach visits, getting our little surfer boy out on the waves, fish and chips in the park and more bike rides.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, we are just so lucky that our kids enjoy home and rarely ask to go places.  They've set up the sun tent in the backyard and spend hours playing camp, having tea parties with their baby sister, making movies and writing stories.  It's truly a joy to watch.

I'm taking time whenever I can to work on a few crochet projects, cleaning out cupboards and doing the odd op shop drop off.  I'm feeling the need to cleanse and simplify our home and I'm hoping it'll motivate me to make a start on some long overdue home improvements, I'm the worlds greatest procrastinator for certain!

I hope your new year is off to an easy start.  Are you lucky enough to be on holidays?  If not, I hope you find time to make the most of those spare moments.

x

the everyday..foundations

Sometimes I just need to take a jumbled patchwork of thoughts and emotions out of my head and write them down..and share some random snaps of our everyday that I recently rediscovered while I'm at it..

Most of the time we live our days on auto pilot.  We have routines and commitments, we feed, bathe and clothe our children.  We chat, cuddle, fight and love.  We live with contentment and certainty, we work hard, we sleep when day becomes night, and we get up to do it all again.

Then, occasionally, the simplest of moments stops me in my tracks.  As I walk past my boys and kiss each of them on the back of their necks while they sit at the kitchen bench eating breakfast, and suddenly all that we are to them flashes before me and it grounds me, reminding me to stop and be right there in that moment.  Because its that moment right there, that simple act of affection, that is their foundation.  

Its where their sense of belonging stems, where their self belief is assured, where they can be themselves at their most vulnerable and where their dreams are nurtured and encouraged.

Its these moments that overwhelm me with their enormity, all the while comforting my heart and soul, and I stop and be grateful..and the day goes on.

embracing winter and the homemaker within..

Until a few years ago winter was my most favourite season, I loved everything about it. But the last few winters have been a struggle for me, and I was really dreading its return this year. Then suddenly this week something happened, there was a shift of energies and I feel ready.  Ready to enjoy all of the good things that winter offers, all the things that I used to love about it.

This year I am going to embrace the winter months.  The cosiness, the rugging up, the hearty meals, red wine, hot chocolates, the sound of pouring rain on the tin roof, and I'm going to embrace the homemaker within.  It's a wonderful feeling.

I already know, that my best days, when I'm left feeling most satisfied, are the ones where I'm inspired to bake, to bring all the washing up to date, to have a casserole or soup or some other one-pot-wonder on the stove filling the house with its delicious aroma.  A day when I have pottered about, getting things in order, cleaning, having the place all cosy warm with a handmade snack ready for my boys after school, these are absolutely the days I love the most. Not all days are like this of course. The reality is, most days are a juggle of work, a toddler, school runs and commitments and getting by on the bare necessities.

I love the title 'homemaker'.  I love everything about it.  I'm sure this stems from my childhood, when both my mum and dad would work so hard, I'd often be the first one home with chores to tend to and little brothers to take care of. Then, on rare occasions, there were those days after school, after the long trek home from the bus stop, when I would walk in the door and smell fresh baked cakes, dinner cooking and mum sitting down to a cup of tea, those days were the most wonderful days of all!  That overwhelming feeling of comfort and security and true homeliness.

Nick and I made the choice early on for one of us to be the homemaker, and there were a lot of sacrifices in order to make it happen, but I'm so glad we did.  Now, choosing to start our business was largely driven by the ability for me to continue being home, to keep things running smoothly and be available to the kids whenever they need.  Fortunately, it also allows Nick to be home a lot more too, so often, we are able to share the homemaker role.

Now that winter is here, I can certainly feel the chill in the air, its been cold and wet and we've been restricted to indoors, but instead of feeling immediately defeated, I've felt inspired. I baked muffins, made hearty soups, ironed, vacuumed, washed and tidied. After picking up the boys from school and walking through the door to warmth and yummy smells, it took me back to those happy homely memories and I realised that this is how it has to be.  I need to change my mindset, embrace winter and my role as homemaker,  and enjoy all the cosy good things that winter brings.

{picture of the baby on a washing basket, slightly unrelated but cute!}

 

taking stock..

I'm re-visiting Pip's trusty list today, just because...

Making: a blanket for Olive's bed and joining in with Kate's every day in may project, almost there..

Cooking: pumpkin soup, actually its a 'very full of veggie' soup but we just call it pumpkin..

Drinking: hot water throughout the day (after my morning coffee), I just always have..

Reading: new blogs and trying to visit regular favourites more often..

Wanting: way too many things! I stopped buying magazines a few years ago because I found myself wanting so much, I think now it's happing again but with social media and so many beautiful temptations, I'm unsubscribing to emails everyday..

Looking: for a blanket or cushions to stitch all of the badges coming home from cubs to.. 

Playing: tea parties and dolls with my baby girl..

Wasting: too much time procrastinating and not just getting it done!

Sewing: cub scout badges onto my boys shirts, in the wrong place and re-doing urgh..

Wishing: my mum and dad lived closer, I wish they could see the incidental everyday stuff as these kids grow   

Enjoying: this glorious sunshiny autumn we are having lately, I don't want it to end..

Waiting: for work to slow down, its meant to be getting quieter at this time of year but its not, which is wonderful but a little break would be nice too.. 

Liking: toasted banana bread for morning tea.. 

Wondering: how much longer I'll breastfeed Olive, she's happy and I'm happy but there are things coming up later in the year and I'm not sure how we're going manage them if I'm still nursing..

Loving: where we live, I'll never take it's beauty for granted, not ever!    

Hoping: for uninterrupted nights of blissful rested sleep..

Marvelling: at this beautiful baby girl every single day, she is quite something..

Needing: to stretch.. 

Smelling: open fires and sea air, it really is the best time of year

Wearing: jeans, desert boots and linen scarves..staples

Following: some inspiring, heart warming and like minded instagram feeds, I'm noticing that so many people in our life struggle with simplicity and I'm feeling a distance grow between us because of it..well there you go, that just came from somewhere and suddenly I have some clarity on a nagging that's been going on inside me, now that I've put my finger on it I can start to make it better..

Noticing: how my baby boy is not such a baby anymore, and how his mouth is kind of pursed when he speaks, I think its his new bigger teeth..

Knowing: my husband needs to take some regular time just for him, he used to be good at this but I'm going to have to give him a little push..

Thinking: about buying a caravan or camper to make little overnighters, or weekends away happen..

Feeling: a bit worn out and sore from not stretching..

Bookmarking: some simple dress patterns to pretty up our winter, hopefully, my sewing skills are not the best..  

Opening: happy mail from uncles to nephews.. 

Giggling: at olive as she wanders about with her eyebrows raised and her hands behind her back..

Feeling: frustrated and anxious about the new budget, seriously, do they know any real life people?!

So there you have it, some unexpected thoughts and revelations not even I was expecting.