value..

I read an article in the paper today, grateful that there are people out there to be my voice, who can see things the way I see them and 'get' that family is, well pretty much it, everything..

As most of you know, that very controversial topic of being a stay at home mum is one I am extremely passionate about.  I know we all make choices we believe are the best for our families, we do whatever it is we have to do to keep things running smoothly to give our kids the best life we know how to give, and we all choose to do that differently.  Each to their own, whatever works for you, I'm certainly never going to judge a parent for doing what they need to do & what they believe is right for their family.  

I do feel however that the 'work' done at home by a full time parent is so desperately under valued.  For us, we chose early on that one of us would be the primary full time carer for our children, in our case it's me.  We chose to go with less, to simplify things & not need so much.  We don't go on holidays (but then we live in the most beautiful place, so I certainly don't feel like we're missing out), we don't really do anything too big or elaborate, and with high school for the big boy only 2 years away, we need to be very careful about what we spend our money on.  It's hard when you hear your kids feeling a little bit sorry for themselves, that they don't do all these fabulously exciting things or have the biggest, the latest & the best of everything.  They don't realise it yet, of course, but they don't know just how insignificant all of that 'stuff' is. 

It's taken me a very long time to stop feeling inadequate about my role, being lucky enough to stay at home and to be available to my boys at any given time.  To stop seeing myself as I feel so many people do, feeling as though I'm this 'kept' woman, a princess living a privileged life, being taken care of by my strong hardworking man.  The role I play is in fact very important and we work hard together in raising this family the best way we know how.

So yes, it can be hard, but it will all be worth it if it means that our kids are being brought up in a happy, secure & for the most part stress free environment.  At the same time there is huge pressure being the primary carer, being the one to shape these little people for the future of this world.

So thank you Rachel Buchanan, for having your say & for speaking for so many of us, for making perfectly logical sense!  Though, no offence but I must say that your 'bad' day where you feel like the 1950's housewife is in fact my best day, but that's just my perspective...

On another note, if anyone knows how to stop those text enhancement boxes coming up on particular words can you please share..x

it's christmas time...

It's an emotional time, always, every year..

I feel so much pride in my beautifully growing boys..

relief that the year is coming to an end, holidays are almost upon us..

anxious about their upcoming year, new teachers & classmates..

sadness that all my babies are about to be school boys..

joy and excitement at the thought of spending time with family & friends..

a bit scared about what happens next for this stay at home mumma..

grateful, forever grateful for this life that I live by the sea with this incredible man that I love..

I wish you all a most wonderful, happy & safe Christmas time, and very much look forward to catching up with you all in the new year...

MERRY CHRISTMAS DEAR FRIENDS!!

smelling the roses...

I was about to post this & then thought maybe I wouldn't....

You may remember a little while ago when I wrote this post.  I had so many lovely responses, so many of you feeling much the same.  It's funny how just a little way down the track, that unsettled feeling creeps back somehow. It's not discontent, I love that I am a stay at home mum, I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to be available to the kids, the house and all that goes with that.  The need to have to justify this lifestyle just tugs at me every now & then.  I think what I'm feeling is a little bit anxious, maybe, knowing that it's not long now before my little guy joins his big brothers at school & it'll be time for me to go back to work.  I'm just not sure what that work will be.  Whatever it is that I do, I want to enjoy it, I want to be excited & passionate about it...but what, I really don't know.  To make things more complicated, I want to be available after school hours so that I can pick up the kids & hear about their day, and run them around to wherever they need to go.  I suppose it's still another 18 months away, I guess anything could happen between now and then...

While pondering my post, I popped over to my dashboard and read this by Sarah at Splish Splash Designs.  Thank you Sarah,  for reminding me to take time to enjoy the simple things and the treassures that surround me, goodness knows they'll be all grown up in the blink of an eye.  Time to stop & smell the roses...

image via lola's room

perception...

 

This has been a word that keeps going around in my mind of late.  Coincidentally, I have had numerous conversations recently with loads of different women and the topic of perception just keeps coming up.  How we are viewed by others, work colleagues, friends, family members, other mums.  It's funny how we perceive people, the reality is, we are seeing someones world through completely different eyes & in most cases we are all living the same daily challenges  that being a mum, homemaker, employee, employer faces. 
I remember going on staff retreats with work & doing the whole team building self awareness & development thing.  I remember one time in particular when I was so overwhelmed by the way my colleagues perceived me & my abilities.  It brought me to tears & really made me take a look at myself, to view myself in a more positive light & to give myself a break!  To me, it was like they were viewing a different person entirely.  I was amazed at who they thought I was, this confident, successful, caring & generous person!  It's so nice to hear that occasionally, that you are great at what you do and people recognise those very special traits we are often too self critical to acknowledge ourselves.
I look at other women sometimes & think admiringly, "God how does she do it!?" meanwhile, my perception is that she is looking at me and thinking "Oh my god, lady get it together!".  I know we can all be very hard on ourselves most of the time, but the fact is we all think and feel the same way & we are all doing a really good job!  

It's nice to meet people & talk about the highs & lows of parenthood.  To reassure one another that there are times when we all feel as though we are barely keeping our heads above water & other times when life is just a pure & simple joy.
The most profound realisation came over me just the other day...for the first time in 8 years, since I began maternity leave to have my first child,  I no longer feel the need to justify being a full time Mum & home maker!  I have always felt that there is no greater job in the world than being a parent & raising a family of good, honest, loving, considerate,independent & well adjusted people!  My husband & I decided from the beginning that we would be prepared to make the sacrifices necessary for our kids to have one of us at home at least until they all reach school age.  While this was a decision that we were very sure about, sadly I always felt I needed to justify myself because I wasn't contributing financially, that it wasn't really considered by others to be a real job & a valuable use of time (or so I thought was how I was perceived). 
You know, as the years roll on, I feel I'm getting better & better at my 'job', and now that I have finally let go of the need to justifying my life for the sake of what I think others might perceive me to be, I'm going to enjoy it a whole lot more too!  I absolutely love my life.  I love that I am a mother, wife and homemaker.  I feel blessed every single day that I have been lucky enough to do this full time.  Yes, it's a challenge most of the time, dealing with very demanding little personalities all day, but it's all worth it, the fun times far out way the hard.  For us, it comes down to simplifying, wanting less, getting back to the basics of good old fashioned family living. 
And so in conclusion to this ramble which has taken on a whole other dimension since beginning it, I am going to be sure to let all the other gorgeous hardworking mum's I am surrounded by know just how great a job they are doing too... 

happy mother's day...

Wishing you all a very happy mothers day!  I hope you are able to enjoy the day doing whatever it is that makes you happy...

My beautiful Mum & Me aged 4.

...for me, it's a picnic in the park with my family. Mum's taken care of sandwiches, hubby's made a delicious cake, I've packed the thermos & some sneaky treats & there is fun to be had...

look at all these lovely goodies from my 3 gorgeous boys...

SPOILT!

Mum's Night

We had Mothers Night at kinder yesterday, it was really nice to spend time with my little dark haired boy! We played Star Wars (I was Princess Leia, he was Han Solo) we raced, we danced, he gave me a massage, I read him a story, he made me a bracelet and he did my makeup - yes, makeup! I looked like a 'lady of the night' by the time he'd finished! Then he did my nails and served me a plate of nibbles.  Great fun was had by all....the challenge is keeping this polish on as long as I can so as not to offend.  My youngest is a great fan of nail polish - loves it!  As I woke, the immediate shock of the red polish made me think for a brief second I was bleeding to death!  Then my little guy said "ooohhh, Mummy your polish is beautiful! Can jimmy do mine too?!"