this moment..

It's difficult to imagine beyond the now, this moment, day to day.

I was so sure that our little guy was the last, our family was complete and I soaked him in, every little bit.

Now, six years on, we have been blessed with this brand new babe, this unexpected, exquisite little gift, and I still can't quite believe we have her.

Seeing our little guy off to begin school last year, I went through a kind of grieving process.  My last baby a big school kid already.  It took me a long while to come to terms with that.  Then suddenly life looked easier.  We'd moved beyond the baby/toddler years, no more sleeps to factor into a day, we could leave the house without having to pack a thing.  They all wake and make their own breaky in the morning and get themselves dressed for school.  Easy.

Now, we're back.  Back to the packing a bag before leaving the house, back to sleep times and having to be super organised.  Back to timing the feed before jumping in the car..the "quick, quick, lets go!!" as soon as baby is fed.

All of that is happening again, and it's surreal.  But she fits right in, she was meant to be here.

I look at her and I can only see this moment.  I still can't picture the crawling baby, the toddler, the kinder girl and beyond.

I can't imagine her growing up to develop into her own little self.  Argh, the tantrums, or heaven forbid, say the 'H' word.  But I know she will, and my heart will hurt.  My own mum says that when she does, I'll just turn away and I'll laugh to myself when I hear it, and I'll remember this moment..

This moment, when we'd look into each others eyes equally smitten.  I'll remember how I'd bury myself into her softness and breathe in her sweetness..

This heavenly moment..x