the winter sun shines and my heart overflows..

...all of a sudden you see the values you hold so dear in the hope of raising good people, come shining through like the winter sun.

In a simple gesture, a single moment, you witness the gentle love between brothers, and just like that, you know you're on the right track.

Last night we made pizza and snuggled down to watch 'the life of Pi'.  There was the usual niggling over who sat where, who has which cushion, enough blanket and the most leg room...he and I look at each other and we know we're both wondering the same thing...can we do nothing without this incessant banter?? 

Then suddenly we were all transfixed on the movie and loving every minute.  By the end, we were so captivated as the story was revealed, and the little guy had tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to make sense of the sadness of it all.

His brothers looked at him and felt his hurt.  Quietly and without a word spoken, the middle guy reached for a tissue and handed it to his little brother..

And my heart filled to overflowing.

warming..

A few random things...

We took that mini holiday and went to Fiji for my youngest brothers wedding. It was magical.  It was such a happy day, the groom and his beautiful bride, my big boy as ring barer, an island resort, lots and lots of dancing, sunshiny warmth, spending time with all of my brothers, it was wonderful.  Of course we didn't escape all of the moods and madness the entire time, but it was more manageable somehow.  Thank you for your very kind and encouraging comments on my last post..

I've pulled out my dusty wool stash and have been making a few wintery warm things at my leisure (my leisure!? what is that?) popping some in the shop, and my boys have put in orders, this always warms my heart..

One of my brothers has bought a house and moved his soon-to-be-family-of-three right down here in our town, the best!

I am getting super speedy at my job in our little business and just learned a process I've not made time to learn since we started, and that sure feels good..

Baby girl has found her voice and listening to her happy natter is heavenly..

We've accepted we're not going to have a winter kitchen garden this year, there just isn't the time, sad but true. We will, however, make time on a weekend to go to local farmers markets to pick up the good stuff someone else has managed to grow..

Our big boy got into the high school program he so wanted..we are relieved and proud beyond words. He's had a really rough couple of years, it's nice for him to have a win finally, phew! We were fascinated by his answer to one of the interview questions..'who are 3 people you'd like to have at a dinner party?' his answer... Joseph Stalin, Leonardo Da Vinci and Adam Sandler - imagine!

Winter sure is cold but winter dinners are the best! One pot wonders filled to the brim with vegie goodness that all of our little people love..very happy about that!

There is nothing warmer than wool.  A fact I am reminded of every year.  I start off thinking I'll just layer up with pretty prints and a frill here and there, but nothing warms like a woollen nana spencer.  So, on top of the list for my next visit to the shops is nana spencers..and maybe another pair of patterned tights to keep things pretty..

School holidays are almost upon us and I am determined to make the most of them.  A happy balance of slow moving jammie mornings and a few adventures too..

knots..

sometimes my tummy and my chest are so caught up in knots with all that is going on. This family we are raising sometimes feels like a tornado spinning around me. The chaos whirling further and further beyond my grasp.  I have to stop and remind myself to breathe, to be positive and to keep things in perspective.  

There is the parenting of a pre teen.  This has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world, and then we still have the actual teen years ahead of us.  They say when your babies are just babies, that it only gets harder, and its true, it does.  Every single day is a challenge.  It can be mental and emotional torture at times.  I'm forever analysing my parenting ability, am I too hard, too soft, are my values all wrong, should I just let up a little, but then if I do, what kind of people will we be raising?  Endless days of bickering, the nastiness, the condescending tone, the intolerance of just about anyone or anything. As parents, we're forever the bad guy, both of us. The day ends and I wonder if we'll all just wake up and it'll be like a fog has lifted, and suddenly he'll be that beautiful, thoughtful, considerate boy he once was.  Or have we completely lost control and is it just going to get worse..

There is the six year old of whose tantrums and temper I have made mention of in many a blog post over the last 4 years.  Shouldn't they be over by now?  We've never given into him when he's tantrumed, not ever.  There has always been consequences for him, but he still does it.  His temper flys out of control just so suddenly and there is often no cooling it down until it's run it's course.  Then he emerges, sorry, cuddly and back to his sweet adoring loving self.  It's all over much more quickly now, but you still never know when it's going to happen and there's a constant tightness in my chest, that walking on egg shells feeling because its so unpredictable.

There is the happy go lucky grade 3 boy whose carefree world is slowly becoming bogged down with commitments and expectations.  Grade 3 is such a big change.  Middle school equals higher standards, harder work, more homework, and little time for that happy go lucky attitude.  He doesn't like it much.  His weekends can't come around soon enough.

There is the new baby.  Thats the easy bit.  She's amazing, content, placid and she still sleeps a lot!  She just fits in.  I tend to her amidst all the crazy and she's happy. 

There is running a business, which my husband pretty much does single handed at this point.  I'm just his faithful assistant.  I step in and do my part as required, and then it's back to being mother, housekeeper, homemaker. There just isn't the brain power to be anymore than that right now.

We have an exciting, and very happy celebration coming up and we can't wait.  A mini holiday to somewhere warm and gorgeous to hang out with my brothers and their girls, and we're counting the sleeps.  I'm hoping that having my boys spend some time with their uncles will help, I'm hoping my man and I might sneak out on a date and I'm hoping it's just the trick to loosen all these knots, if only for a little while..