a special day..

Today we go into hospital for our baby to be induced.  It's been a strange few days as we prepare ourselves for this moment.  I have mixed feelings about interfering in fate. Of course I will do whatever is required to ensure our baby is safe, but at the same time its an odd feeling.  I suppose though it is fate really, this is the path we must take.

I woke one day last week complaining of severe itching of my hands and feet. I wasn't terribly concerned about it, itching often being part of pregnancy with all the stretched skin and crazy hormones.  I googled it, was mildly alarmed by what this could be and called my doctor or reassurance.      He immediately ordered a blood test, and surprisingly at this late stage it turns out I have cholestasis which is a liver condition that can be caused by an abundance of pregnancy hormones hindering the breakdown of bile salts.

Fortunately my case is on the mild side but needs to be monitored very closely as it can impact on the babys health quite dramatically.  It usually disappears after giving birth, and fingers crossed it does.

We've spent the last few days tying up loose ends, preparing for the beginning of the school year and getting organised.  I won't be there at school tomorrow as my boys march into their new grades with Nana, and it makes me so sad.

Today I'm feeling very emotional.  Not knowing what to expect, having never been induced before, its unsettling.  At the same time, I'm 38 weeks and I can feel my body preparing.  There is so much going on around here, phones ringing, people in and out, hubby trying to organise shoots and processing around this babys birth.  Its all a bit manic, but I have this way of dealing with the big stuff, I've talked about it before, where I somehow, subconciously tune myself out so that I am focused on the most important things.  I feel a bit like the craziness of life is all abuzz all around me but I'm numb to it and all that matters is that my boys are doing ok, that they are relaxed and ready for school and for me to prepare to birth this baby.

Our little guy woke this morning and announced with so much excitement and joy "today is the day the baby comes!!" 

A very special day indeed..x

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a portrait of my children, once a week every week in 2013...

Harvey:  he's on high alert this week.  Excited and maybe just a little bit anxious, he's listening to everything being said, conscious of my every move, knowing this baby is close..

Jimmy:  so carefree and most happy at play.  I'm trying my best to get him organisied for school, but he seems to prefer the more relaxed 'throw caution to the wind' way of doing things.  I guess I could take a leaf out of his book..

Eddie: feeling very grown up as he prepares for grade one.  Eager to please, tidying his room to surprise me, being extra helpful and giving lots of extra hugs.  He was helping me size a crocheted beanie in the making, and with his twisting and turning, though blurred, made for an even more beautiful picture..

the 52 project here...

quiet craft..

Staying indoors after a morning at the beach, keeping myself cool and my fingers busy making a rugged little garland, just because..

It's quiet around here.

Catching up on admin, some movie watching, a little bit too much wii playing, but I'm okay with that today. Everyone is happy, calm and relaxed.  It's the last week of holidays after all..

more creative spaces here...

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a portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2013..

Harvey: he's been at Nan & Pop's for a whole week and has come home noticeably taller and older somehow..

Jimmy: "it's my bad luck day.." he told me. It seems things aren't going his way this morning..

Eddie: in a magical world of make believe with a handmade bow..

The 52 project with Jodi... 

my creative space..

I'm making a rug, so there will be three of them on the couch, one for each boy and hopefully no more bikering over who has a 'real' rug (ie. the made by me kind).

It's nice to be back into it, nice to just sit and crochet in those rare moments there isn't too much else to do.  

A row here and there, while playing the odd board game, building lego tanks and making icy watermelon treats.

More creative spaces here, take a peak..

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" a portrait of my children, once a week every week in 2013.."

Harvey:  forever climbing, and jumping from great heights.  Annoyed that he only had these stairs to use and I wouldn't let him venture off to the bluff for something more challenging..

Jimmy:  pondering and enjoying one on one time with Mum and Dad all to himself for the morning, he's such a delight..

Eddie:  contemplating more rock pool exploration, as he says "will you come with me mum? I'll hold  your hand so you don't fall.."

That was another week spent visiting all the rellie's camp sites.  Now they've packed up and gone home, it's just not the same around town without bumping into an Aunt or cousins in the street, those are my favourite two weeks of the whole year.

You can share your portraits over here with Jodi..

grateful..for mother nature

This pregnancy has whizzed by and suddenly I'm in my final month.  After a highly emotional first trimester, I can honestly say that I have thoroughly enjoyed this pregnancy so, so much.

The beautiful little gift of life growing inside me has been completely and utterly joyous.  We are so in love with this baby already, and very excited to meet the little person who has been a constant source of amusement and wonder to us all these last eight months.

Every time I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I walk past our nursery all dark and quiet and think of how in just a few short weeks, it'll be our baby I'm getting up to.  I know it's exhausting, I'm under no illusion of fairytale night time feeds, but I do remember loving those quiet moments, just the two of us, my new baby and I.

My husband wraps his arms around me and his hands barely meet around my tummy.  He's still and quiet, waiting for baby to move and he says how he can't wait to meet this little person, to feel its soft mooshy skin and breathe that new baby smell.

Our boys are careful and suddenly knowing.  They help around the house more, they are considerate of my inability to climb the stairs on a whim, and they look almost expectantly, waiting for me to say its time.

It suddenly feels so close, too close, and a part of me could continue this pregnancy for months, adoring my growing belly, dressing myself up and feeling fabulous.  Then I have a very slow moving day, like today, when every part of my body is telling me to stop, to lie down, nurture myself and prepare for the enormous task that lies ahead.

I'm feeling myself become aware of my body changing, preparing itself to birth this baby, and I'm ready to start focusing on the delivery, feeling that raw, earthy primal instinct that is deep within us all when we become mothers.

I felt this so strongly with our little guy, I was so ready for his birth, and I worried I'd not allowed myself to get there this time.  But here I am, all zen and focused.  Mother Nature is a miraculous thing..

More grateful posts here with Maxabella..

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"A portrait of my children, once a week every week in 2013.."

Harvey: he spent the entire day walking the rocks and diving under waves.  It was almost cleansing. Washing away a tumultuous year and preparing to start afresh..

Jimmy: his days are always adventurous and fun, and every day of our holidays so far are "the best day of my life.." enjoying the most simple of pleasures..

Eddie: the little guy wanders the rocks cautiously and mostly sits up in the sun shelters with my Aunties chatting away tirelessly.  At the end of last summer he emerged from the sea with a giant crab attached to his foot and hasn't quite been able to enjoy the water since, a funny story to the rest of us..
  

This first week of our brand new year disappeared into magical moments spent wandering family camp sites, lots and lots of laughs and the beach.

I haven't even had my camera out this week, and almost forgot to take any pictures at all.  We've been heading off each day with fresh rolls, a pile of fruit, chilled water and my IPhone, travelling light and just enjoying the monotony of repetitive summer days.

Next week I hope to manage actual portraits.  You can join in and share your portraits here..  

one word..

My one word for 2012 was 'enjoy'.  Taking time to enjoy moments, the simple things in this life, and enjoy we did.

There was a lot of down time for me last year, adjusting to life without my babies at home, being that mum who could help in the classroom, bake and be homemaker.  I did enjoy the simple things and that word was always in the forefront of my mind.

The year 2012 was also a year for enormous change, challenge and despairing moments for the two of us as parents.  Life got very hard and unexpectedly complex, and that word 'enjoy' became an even more important focus.

This year, 2013, holds in store for us all kinds of wonderful.  With the impending arrival of a new baby in February, a new business to get off the ground, the big boys' last year of primary school, the middle hits grade 3 and the little guy is a big grade oner already!

Needless to say 2013 is not going to be an easy one, certainly a busy one, and we are going to embrace it for all that it may present.  

This new years word is going to be 'strength'.  I'm going to need a lot of it physically, mentally and emotionally.  This year I am going to be strong.

Happy New Year to you friends! May yours too be filled with all kinds of wonderful..x