a special day..

Today we go into hospital for our baby to be induced.  It's been a strange few days as we prepare ourselves for this moment.  I have mixed feelings about interfering in fate. Of course I will do whatever is required to ensure our baby is safe, but at the same time its an odd feeling.  I suppose though it is fate really, this is the path we must take.

I woke one day last week complaining of severe itching of my hands and feet. I wasn't terribly concerned about it, itching often being part of pregnancy with all the stretched skin and crazy hormones.  I googled it, was mildly alarmed by what this could be and called my doctor or reassurance.      He immediately ordered a blood test, and surprisingly at this late stage it turns out I have cholestasis which is a liver condition that can be caused by an abundance of pregnancy hormones hindering the breakdown of bile salts.

Fortunately my case is on the mild side but needs to be monitored very closely as it can impact on the babys health quite dramatically.  It usually disappears after giving birth, and fingers crossed it does.

We've spent the last few days tying up loose ends, preparing for the beginning of the school year and getting organised.  I won't be there at school tomorrow as my boys march into their new grades with Nana, and it makes me so sad.

Today I'm feeling very emotional.  Not knowing what to expect, having never been induced before, its unsettling.  At the same time, I'm 38 weeks and I can feel my body preparing.  There is so much going on around here, phones ringing, people in and out, hubby trying to organise shoots and processing around this babys birth.  Its all a bit manic, but I have this way of dealing with the big stuff, I've talked about it before, where I somehow, subconciously tune myself out so that I am focused on the most important things.  I feel a bit like the craziness of life is all abuzz all around me but I'm numb to it and all that matters is that my boys are doing ok, that they are relaxed and ready for school and for me to prepare to birth this baby.

Our little guy woke this morning and announced with so much excitement and joy "today is the day the baby comes!!" 

A very special day indeed..x