Wednesday, May 2, 2012

days like these..

it started early, lying in bed I could hear the huffing & puffing from the little guy.  Something wasn't going right for him and it was only 6.30am!  But it was freezing, so I snuggled further down under flannel sheets & let the sounds of pouring rain drown out the agitated huffy, puffy noise.. 

All of a sudden it was 7 o'clock.  In comes the middle guy fully dressed and ready for school.  "I've been making some alterations to my Lego model, I think its definitely ready to enter into the competition now, do you have your camera..?"  Oh God! I bury myself further under the covers now as I realise the entries were due 2 days ago!! So, so bad. Bad, bad mother!

About to rise and face it all, but clinging to that flannel just a moment longer, in comes the big boy.  Mildly hysterical, trying very hard to hold it together and speak in a reasonable manner, but can't, blurts out that its raining, he doesn't have a fleecy jacket "just that other jacket that I hate wearing, and am I supposed to wear tracksuit pants to this thing, cause I don't have any school ones, and anyway I'm not doing it!!"...and good morning first born.

In comes the little guy, all teary and red faced.  Up I get, time to go in one crises at a time.  He says he doesn't want to go to school anymore, he hates it there. I kneel down to him, hug him tight and say "what do you mean you don't want to go anymore?? You mean that place you get to go everyday, learn loads of new things, make fairy bread, play with lizards, win Star of the Week??!!" He smiles, hugs me back and off he goes to get ready for school.  Done. One down two to go..

Time to face up to the middle guy, who's already downstairs making his breaky, happy as Larry,  thinking models finished a trip to Lego Land is on the horizon, life's good!  I can't burst his bubble, and by the sound of the ranting coming from the big boy, I have more pressing matters to address..

It's the inter-school cross country today and he's flipping out, not making any sense.  He did so well to earn a place and now suddenly he's out.  Not going!  I try to be gentle, but I know if I pamper too much he will assume I'm fine with it and he won't go.  So I push, just a bit.  Remind him of how thrilled he was when he placed.  How hard it was to do that and how proud he should feel.  How wonderful it is to be representing your school..."Fine!!" he says "so you just want me to go and make a fool of myself then...!" 

So, I'm talking this through, packing lunches, listening to the little guy read in the background, washing dishes, making breakfasts for the ones who don't do it themselves, tending to the washing machine, thumping out of balance, and I crack.  "Are you planning to run the course with your pants down or on your head?! That would be making a fool of yourself! No, you're not.  You're in this because you worked hard & deserve to be there.  It doesn't matter if you don't win!! Just go and do it and have fun!!"  Yes, can you hear the encouragement in my words there.  I was trying, but it didn't come out well.

Fortunately, in comes Hubby.  Oh thank God you're here!! Quiet words are spoken between father and son, and suddenly he's back in.  The cross country will go ahead!

Days like these make me feel very lucky I'm not doing this on my own.  He's the voice of reason around here, weaving his magic on these boys.

The big boy comes to hug me as he heads out the door, "You're not going to come and cheer are you?"  he asks gently.  "No, I won't.  I won't be there.  Is that ok with you..?" is my broken-hearted reply.  It was my only plan today, but seeing the relief on his face assures me its right not to go.

I still have to tell the middle guy I let him down.  Urghh,  I feel sick about it, look at him up there, wishing upon a dandelion to win..


  1. What a lovely post. It's tough isn't it, that parenting lark. I have two of my own here (15 and 17)... ;-)

  2. Oh I so know what you are feeling right now!!! Your morning sounds just like many of mine lol. I hate it when the trouble starts before your feet hit the floor! I have had way too many of those "I'm not going to school anymore" mornings, they can be really stressful! And then the panicking etc about the run, yep I have kids that have that sort of reasoning too lol. (Don't you hate it and love it in the same breath when Hubby manages to just fix the problem so darn easy though lol). My youngest hates me watching him do anything, it is so heart breaking, I think as a mother you want to see your kids having fun and want to share in their proud moments and in general want to see as many of their activities as you can, and when they truly don't want you to go,,,,yep the tears often flow here :-(
    Chin up and I hope you can find a reasonable let down for the lego problem,,,thats a tricky one to handle for sure! There is no easy solution for that one other than honesty and admitting that mums make mistakes too.

  3. Don't you just love school mornings???? My first three were Ok apart from panicking because they forgot to do homework or remembering as they walked out the door that they had to take something for a class party but my youngest was a massive battle everyday. The saddest day with each of them was being TOLD not asked to please not come to school for whatever the activity was that day especially when they expected you for everything before that. Don't feel bad about the Lego Competition, we all forget sometimes.

  4. Lordy, mornings can be such a trial! I love that you dealt with each one individually all the while packing, readying, listening and washing! Such a good multitasker!

  5. I'm only just realising that this parenting thing doesn't actually get any easier as they get older!
    I love posts like this, keeping it real and so well put Mel!
    I hope everyone is okay and settled after a tough morning.
    Huge hugs, J.XX

  6. It's a tricky job this parenting thing, it's not easy knowing what to say and often what you say may be right but for that person in that moment it just doesn't work. Having someone to be there to pick up things when you need help, to be the other half of the team is such a blessing. I hope everything worked our well in the end Mel. xx

  7. I truly think with all the negotiating we do daily and the peace treaties that we come up with at a moments notice we could rule the job well done Mom!


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