Remembering..

Anzac Day looked quite different this year. Not being able to gather with our community at the Cenotaph or to watch the parade march down our main street, or see my dad wearing his father's medals.  Instead, we walked to the end of our driveway at dawn with candles and stood in silence to pay our respects and to remember. It's always a very special and emotional day, but this year felt particularly so. It was heartwarming to see images of people all over the country coming 'together' in just the same way. We foraged and collected fallen gum leaves from the street behind us to make a wreath, and pulled out some old jars I had tucked away from my 40th and decorated them with a sprig of rosemary from the garden.  A day, like the rest of this strange time, that will forever be remembered in history.  

As an introvert, I may be a little bit partial to this forced isolation. Yes, there have been days early on when it felt out of control and uncertain. Weeks of feeling consumed by fear of the catastrophe going on outside, all around the world.  I was scared for my parents and in-laws, my family, and so sad for those who had already suffered devastating loss of loved ones to this virus.  It's still frightening and overwhelming, and incredibly surreal. Then gradually something happens, we adapt to the strangeness, and it becomes our new normal. Perhaps it's our survival mechanism kicking in.

I've slowly remembered, home is actually my favourite place on earth. Being home, not having to go anywhere, or (no offence) see anyone. Not having to meet society expectations of how my life should look, all busy and productive and rushed. That's not me, it never was. As a full time stay at home mum for the past 18 years (!!) it's a relief to not have to justify being at home.

When I came back to this blog space a couple of weeks ago, I noticed my little blurb up there at the top of the side bar that says "documenting moments in time that might otherwise have passed me by..mostly mothering and living this life as simply as I know how." I wonder when it was that I lost sight of that? It might've been when we bought a business at the same time our 4th child was born, at a guess. So I'm feeling a whole lot of gratitude right now, for a chance to reset, and to remember what's important to me.