getting it sorted..

So turning forty was something I was pretty excited about.  It felt right, I didn't feel at all like I was getting old, I was not worrying about what I've done with my life and all the things I must do.  I was content and feeling great and like I was right where I was meant to be.

Two years on, a fourth baby and a business later, and I tell you, I am feeling depleted.   I do feel old. Suddenly I'm noticing the wrinkles, the greys are persistent and ever increasing and I'm constantly so, so very tired.  I have achey joints in my fingers and toes, hot flushes, irregular periods, moodiness like a crazy person, soaring emotions. I can't keep up, I'm fairly certain my poor family can't either.

I'm still breastfeeding Olive, and I don't want to stop until she shows less interest, which doesn't look likely any time soon.  Besides, I do love it.  It's forced time to sit and be still and enjoy her being a baby a little while longer, but I think its taking its toll on my body, adding to the exhaustion and draining me further.

While life got crazy busy, we've been managing and getting through it by cutting a few corners here and there, getting a bit lazy, not being too caught up on things that aren't must do's, I like to call that 'survival'.  But I can see now that very gradually, eliminating to make things easier in the short term, is now taking its toll on the long term.

Late autumn has been beautifully warm with an abundance of sunshiny days, just what I've needed before the brutality of cold months ahead.  So, as we head into winter there are a few things I need to do in order to replenish myself and try to get back on top of things.  Otherwise, I'm quite sure, I will not make it through the next three months easily.

It's time to get it sorted!  I need to get back to feeling great and back to feeling like I am right where I'm meant to be.

I need to clear our wardrobes of anything we no longer wear or have use for.

I need to rake up the fallen leaves, brush away cobwebs and cut back the hedges in the garden.

I need to get our deck 'winter ready' with a tidy up, a fire drum, fairy lights (of course) and a stack of cushions to invite us outdoors regularly, regardless of the cold.

I need to make an appointment for a quick once-over doctor check up.

I need to commit to a weekly yoga session.

I need to have my hair cut, and maybe even lash out on a professional colour instead of trying to fight this grey battle on my own, and while I'm at it have my legs waxed.

I need to make a menu plan, go back to grocery shopping only once a week rather than random visits every few days.

I need to make time for coffee dates.

So, as we say goodbye to May and Autumn (and my #everydayinmay crochet project which is coming up nicely, more on that soon) I will welcome June with all of these new challenges and I will get it sorted.