Sunday, January 15, 2012


I read an article in the paper today, grateful that there are people out there to be my voice, who can see things the way I see them and 'get' that family is, well pretty much it, everything..

As most of you know, that very controversial topic of being a stay at home mum is one I am extremely passionate about.  I know we all make choices we believe are the best for our families, we do whatever it is we have to do to keep things running smoothly to give our kids the best life we know how to give, and we all choose to do that differently.  Each to their own, whatever works for you, I'm certainly never going to judge a parent for doing what they need to do & what they believe is right for their family.  
I do feel however that the 'work' done at home by a full time parent is so desperately under valued.  For us, we chose early on that one of us would be the primary full time carer for our children, in our case it's me.  We chose to go with less, to simplify things & not need so much.  We don't go on holidays (but then we live in the most beautiful place, so I certainly don't feel like we're missing out), we don't really do anything too big or elaborate, and with high school for the big boy only 2 years away, we need to be very careful about what we spend our money on.  It's hard when you hear your kids feeling a little bit sorry for themselves, that they don't do all these fabulously exciting things or have the biggest, the latest & the best of everything.  They don't realise it yet, of course, but they don't know just how insignificant all of that 'stuff' is. 
It's taken me a very long time to stop feeling inadequate about my role, being lucky enough to stay at home and to be available to my boys at any given time.  To stop seeing myself as I feel so many people do, feeling as though I'm this 'kept' woman, a princess living a privileged life, being taken care of by my strong hardworking man.  The role I play is in fact very important and we work hard together in raising this family the best way we know how.

So yes, it can be hard, but it will all be worth it if it means that our kids are being brought up in a happy, secure & for the most part stress free environment.  At the same time there is huge pressure being the primary carer, being the one to shape these little people for the future of this world.

So thank you Rachel Buchanan, for having your say & for speaking for so many of us, for making perfectly logical sense!  Though, no offence but I must say that your 'bad' day where you feel like the 1950's housewife is in fact my best day, but that's just my perspective...

On another note, if anyone knows how to stop those text enhancement boxes coming up on particular words can you please share..x


  1. Amen, what some think is a thankless job I see the results of this wonderful title.....and you can't ever recreate these precious memories!!! from one stay at home Momma to another cheers to a job well done!

  2. Hej Mel

    Here Here! Well Said.
    Happy New Year to you and your lovely family.
    LOVING & NURTURING your family is definitely the most important thing in the whole wide world...

  3. Excellent post - I think we do one of the most
    important 'jobs' in the world, being stay at home mums.
    We are so lucky to have this option!XXXJ

  4. Bravo, Mel. I'm with you, all the way. Off to read Rachel's article now. J x

  5. Great Post and article. My job as a stay at home Mum is now over but I am glad I spent the time at home with my four children. I have found out that they are gone from home so quickly!
    Enjoy doing the most rewarding job in the world because you can only raise them once and it is only for a very very short time.

  6. Very good post. I totally agree. I am not a mum, though, but I have friends with children. I have one friend in particular who gave up a lot so she could be a SAHM. She is amazing and works very, very hard for her family. I also work with mum's who work just so they can give their children more "material" posessions, or so they can have a bigger house???
    I certainly know what option I'd be taking if I had children and I would not think twice about missing out on "things" if it meant I could be at home for my family.


  7. I can't tell you how pleased I am not to have the foggiest what a Text Enhancement Box is (but I hope someone else does and can quickly end what I imagine must be a World of Irritation). As for the other stuff you mentioned: HEAR, HEAR! (in capitals, please note).

  8. Well said, sweetie. I'm at home with my crew, as well, and it can be trying at times. But worth it? Oh, yeah---big time! Thanks for this reminder of who I am and why I'm here.

  9. Yes!!! Great post! I'm sooo with you. We're in the same boat. We homeschool and so working out of the home, for me, is not really an option. It's tough sometimes, financially. We've just had to sell our house when one way out could've been me go back to teaching a few days a week. but the choice to stay homeschooling my son, who loves that choice, was a far better one to make. It's all about comrpomise but their childhoods arr so short that it's such an easy compromise to make. Thanks for writing that, so much xx

  10. All stay at home mums do all day is watch tv and eat chocolate, it's a disgrace!!! Ha ha ha, sorry, just being hilarious! I LOVE being a stay at home mum, yes there are days I feel like chewing my own eyeballs but it's so lovely to have this time with my 3 little men and be there to see everything from their first steps to their first tantrum, it really is an undervalued role in society :-)

  11. When I was working I really enjoyed it. It was interesting, challenging and creative. And so is being a stay at home mother. Participating in Cohen's life, encouraging his growth and awareness, introducing him to new things and preparing him for the world, it is truly a gift. We too would rather make sacrifices in order to have me stay at home, than for both of us to work and have more material possessions. At the end of the day, this period of our lives and theirs is so short and goes so quickly. xx

    PS. I had that text enhancement crap too. I googled it and found a forum that told me how to fix it. :)

  12. Wonderful, wonderful post Mel. You have summed up the needs of your little family perfectly and the value we should place on being a SAHM. Recently returning to the workforce I would easily, hands down, without doubt say that being a SAHM was much more challenging. We need to celebrate SAHM's more xx

    p.s- who needs holidays when we live in this beautiful part of the world.

  13. My daughter will be 41 in April. I was a stay-at-home Mum too... and, did without many of the lovelies others had.... and felt under-valued as well. But, nothing was better than watching the school bus coming down our street, holding our door open and watching my little girl hop off that bus. She's told me many times how much comfort it gave her to know I was at home, a few minutes away, if she needed me. Those were my happiest days filled with my best memories. I wouldn't trade them for the fanciest car, biggest house or best vacation. Such a great time... I'm so happy you're getting to enjoy it too. Undervalued or not by others, it won't be by your kids.

    Many blessings,


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