Monday, April 29, 2013

this moment..


It's difficult to imagine beyond the now, this moment, day to day.

I was so sure that our little guy was the last, our family was complete and I soaked him in, every little bit.

Now, six years on, we have been blessed with this brand new babe, this unexpected, exquisite little gift, and I still can't quite believe we have her.

Seeing our little guy off to begin school last year, I went through a kind of grieving process.  My last baby a big school kid already.  It took me a long while to come to terms with that.  Then suddenly life looked easier.  We'd moved beyond the baby/toddler years, no more sleeps to factor into a day, we could leave the house without having to pack a thing.  They all wake and make their own breaky in the morning and get themselves dressed for school.  Easy.

Now, we're back.  Back to the packing a bag before leaving the house, back to sleep times and having to be super organised.  Back to timing the feed before jumping in the car..the "quick, quick, lets go!!" as soon as baby is fed.

All of that is happening again, and it's surreal.  But she fits right in, she was meant to be here.

I look at her and I can only see this moment.  I still can't picture the crawling baby, the toddler, the kinder girl and beyond.

I can't imagine her growing up to develop into her own little self.  Argh, the tantrums, or heaven forbid, say the 'H' word.  But I know she will, and my heart will hurt.  My own mum says that when she does, I'll just turn away and I'll laugh to myself when I hear it, and I'll remember this moment..

This moment, when we'd look into each others eyes equally smitten.  I'll remember how I'd bury myself into her softness and breathe in her sweetness..

This heavenly moment..x



18 comments:

  1. So beautiful Mel.
    So delcious and perfect in every way.
    I think I'm still in that last baby at school mourning phase.
    It hurts a little but I think it's right.
    xx

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  2. sigh, so beautiful, so so beautiful. xo

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  3. You just brought back all my memories of when I had Mimi........thank you! Heidi

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  4. Gorgeousness. I can't imagine the future either. I 'know' Emerson will run, have tantrums, go to school, but all in its own time. Like you, I just want to enjoy every moment as it may be our last little one. Time will tell that too. xx

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  5. She was just meant to be. XXXX

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  6. Oh this is just so beautiful Mel. I'm still trying to adjust to our little guy being our last but relishing every moment spent with him :)
    Xx

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  7. So beautiful, Mel. Now my baby is at kinder 5 days a week, I am in mourning too - seeing babies, and aching for just one more. But it wont happen, so I'll just stalk your blog and IG for more sublime photos of your precious girl xox

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  8. you seem so humble, mel, i can feel it in your words. i just think you are such a beautiful lady.

    and yes, i agree, babies allow you to be in the moment with them. with the older boys i can see little bits of the teenage years, but with scout i can't see past tomorrow.

    x

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  9. Oh sweet Mel. Such a touching post, you beautiful mama. J x

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  10. what a wonderful time you are going through. The way you write your words makes me recall those precious moments...truly lovely

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  11. What a beautiful post Mel your little one is so truly blessed to have you as her mother. xx

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  12. Beautiful. My three boys are a bit younger than yours, but I am still getting the hang of the school run now my little girl is here. I can relate on so many levels! I must remember to soak up every moment. x

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  13. Beautiful. Such is the power of motherhood, it forces us to be in the moment... exactly where we should be.

    I really love your blog, Mel. I wish I had discovered you earlier when you were blogging more frequently... still, I'll look forward to your posts whenever you can manage the time (how busy life must be with 4 kiddos! I barely cope with 1!)

    xx

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  14. Love the photo of those gorgeous toes, I only wish I had thought to do the same when mine were babes. We were still using film cameras in those days!

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  15. What a sweet little one. And what a lucky mom to savor each moment.
    Jana @ 333 Days of Hand Lettering

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  16. Oh honey, sending you virtual hugs and hope you can untangle some of those knots. We are going through some serious growing pains with our girl, hard to imagine doing it with 4 kids! You are a wonderful mama and there will be some really fab days too! Much love to you and yours.
    xo

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  17. this is exactly the place we're in now x

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hello! thanks so much for visiting x