Sunday, March 13, 2016

standing back..

One day last week I had one of those parenting moments that keeps playing on through your mind. The fact that I keep thinking about it makes me question my judgement.  You know, when you wonder why you did what you did.

Is it because she is my fourth child and I've seen it all before?
Is it because I know her and what she can handle?
Is it because sometimes they need to be on the receiving end?
Or worst of all, Is it that I didn't want the other first-time mum to feel my own daughter's expense?

Last week, I watched on as my daughter was being hassled by your typical two year old.  She waited patiently for her turn on the shopping centre game.  Patiently! A huge achievement in itself, and I was proud.  Then, when the little boy stepped out she took her seat.  He decided she was not to touch anything, as two year olds do.  He pushed her hands away from buttons, babbled angrily and shouted "NO!"

She would acknowledge his protests with a coy tilt of her head and then continue on. He then grabbed hold of her hair. He grabbed it hard in his chubby little fist.  She held her head tight with both hands, her face wincing as he pulled.  I went to run and then stopped as the boy's mother bolted.

She scooped him up and told him "No!"  She pulled a fist full of Olive's hair from her toddler's hand and dropped it to the floor.  She was mortified and clearly embarrassed.  Olive watched on as the little boy cried.  She rubbed her head and continued playing.  She just kept playing, not a tear and not a word of complaint.

The mother dashed across to me apologising over and over, and I looked at Olive, she was happy.  I told the mother it was ok, "this is what babies do" and "don't worry, she's fine".  The mother said "I'm so sorry, that's her hair on the ground". I said "you know, its probably the knot I couldn't get out this morning. It's ok, she's fine".

Soon after, Olive and I sat down with our coffee and babycino.  I said to her "my darling are you ok?" She happily sipped her froth and replied "yes, he just wanted his turn."  I couldn't help but laugh at her diplomacy and nonchalance.

I question if my response, or lack there of, was inappropriate or inadequate.  I'm still not sure.  Truly at the time I just wanted to pick her up and hug her tight, but when she wasn't seeking my help I felt compelled to stand back.  I'm pleased she could handle it without my interference.  She did this well I think, and she was still happy to step over the clump of hair to follow the little boy onto the rides afterwards.


  1. I think everyone involved handled this situation really well...especially your darling girl...what should be really proud of her x

  2. I think holding back is the hardest thing as a mum. But then comes that moment of being surprised by their resilience. And I agree with above - what a mature girl!


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